Breaking News

Over 159% of Crimean’s voted to Anschluss with Russia. Those voting included Petrograd, the Kremlin and Vladivostok. (Inspired by the KGB voting system)

A particularly strong turnout came from Putin’s office, who voted 112% to join Crimea to Russia. Putin’s office also demanded that all of Ukraine join Russia and be absolved of not being Russian—a crime in Putin’s thinking. 

“We’re working on Poland and the Baltic states holding a similar referendum,” Putin was quoted as saying. “We’d really like for all of Europe to join Russia, the way Königsberg did after WWII, so that we can take a rest from all this Empire re-building. Pity about the USSR going like that. It’s awfully exhausting holding these types of referendums.” 

Of course the French builders of the Mistral class helicopter carrier sent a letter of congratulation to Putin on his success. After all, it might turn into more orders for the French warships. 

Business is business! 

To HELL with morality.